My Poetic Wednesday

So, you might have noticed that my vaunted attempt to write a poem a day has not shown up on here lately. That would be because--well--I haven't been writing poetry. At all, actually, much less one a day.

So I'm thinking I might do better to try one a week. I tried to come up with something clever (like the Wordless Wednesday I see on so many sites for just a picture on Wednesdays), but apparently I'm not only un-poetic, I'm not particularly clever at coming up with catchy titles. Besides, what can you call a poem but a poem, and no day of the week starts with "P".

Anyway, here is this week's poem:

Rainy Wednesday

Silver skies above

Damp green grass below
Calmness in the air
Sleep is everywhere

My Parents are the BEST

Since I already praised up my mom this morning, and my body is telling me it's time to take a break from housework (so glad I'm going to the chiropractor this afternoon), I'm going to take a few minutes here for Dad.

A couple of days ago I finished my first-ever Narnia fanfiction (you may read it here, if you are so inclined). Actually, I wrote a one-shot of Peter's thoughts after the White Witch scene in the movie Prince Caspian, but I consider that more of an Adamson fanfiction than Lewis (but you may read that one here, if you would like).

Anyway, after finishing Knight of Narnia, I thought that maybe Dad would enjoy reading it, since he is the other huge Narnia fan in our family. Carl is always happy that I enjoy writing fanfiction, but he can't quite bring himself to read something that pointless. And since he's also not into the genres in which I write original fiction (read some of that here), and most of my family is also not into said genres, I don't get too many family opinions on my writing ability. Which might be a good thing, considering how atrocious that last sentence was.

So I sent the link to Dad this morning, and I just got an email back saying how much he enjoyed it, and how well-written it was. Now I feel like a million bucks! Somehow praise from one's nearest and dearest is always sweeter than that from anyone else.

And now I must go try to finish dishes, and see why my daughter's refusing to nap--again.

Mom and Dad last summer, visiting for Dasha's ultrasound. They're not really human beings until they get their coffee.

The Blessing of Mothers

Everything that brings me stress falls under one or more of four heads: Worry, Frustration, Resentment, and Guilt.

I figured this out Saturday when I sat down and wrote out everything that is causing me stress. I love my daughter, but she manages to combine all four of those on a daily basis--worry that I'm not being a good mom, resentment that she has taken over my life, frustration that I don't know what I'm doing, and guilt over being a bad mom, resenting her, and not knowing what I'm doing. That's a brief summing-up, but it pretty well covers it all.

I have other stressers, too--my husband covered a good portion of the list. My family was on there to a small extent, and stress simply related to me was another part.

Writing it out helped some, but not as much as I'd hoped. So I did what I always do: called home.

I talked to Mom for over an hour, and she helped me sort things out. (Mom, you are the best!) The biggest thing she told me was to let go of guilt.

Yeah, right.

She insisted. She reminded me that I am a human, and I cannot expect more than humanly possible from myself. She also reminded me that other people's opinions don't matter.

Which made me realize that, once again, I'd fallen into the same old sin trap: pride and idolatry. Pride in wanting to be more than human, and idolatry in placing other people above God.

It's nice to know that at least I'm not suddenly breaking forth in new sins, but it's just the same ones I've been struggling with my entire life coming back to haunt me in new form. Add temper in there, and I'd have my three main failings, right there! Oh, wait--half of those stressers regarding Carl? Yeah, they could probably qualify as temper on my part.

So now I know. And it's much easier to let go of things once you see them for what they are.

And the stresses I can't get rid of--just the daily struggles of raising a baby and being a wife, and heck, just living in this fallen world--will be much easier to manage if I lose the unnecessary ones.

Thanks, Mom!

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen." 1 Peter 5:6-11

Stress and its Effects

So, today I'm asking for advice. How does one de-stress one's life?

I think I've been under some form of stress or another for about the last five years. Between school, marriage, terrible neighbors in apartments (two different apartments, no less), moving three times in three years, pregnancy, and then (the major issue) trying to cope with being a brand-new mom ... there is rarely any time when I'm not at least a little bit stressed.

And it's taking its toll. My health is starting to be affected. My mental health is really starting to be affected. My relationships are getting strained. My walk with the Lord is starting to suffer.

Carl and keep looking forward to the time when things will slow down, but it seems that whenever we get to that point, something happens to make our lives crazy again. For example: when Dasha was colicky all winter and half the spring, we kept looking forward to the summer, when it would be warmer, life would move slower, and she would be older and over the colic.

In May, we started traveling. We haven't really stopped since. Everyone in the family wants to meet the newest baby. We've been to Massachusetts, Georgia, and New York (twice to NY), and we have one more trip to NY and one to MA before we're done.

This is not conducive to relaxation. Sure, visiting my folks is somewhat relaxing, but the traveling part is itself exhausting, since our daughter is one of those rare babies who does NOT sleep in the car, but rather screams after two hours of riding. Did I mention that the shortest of these trips has been four hours long?

So now we're looking forward to the fall, when things ought to slow down again, but by now I'm enough of a cynic that I'm sure something else will come up, and life will be stressful then, too.

So, how does one do it? How do you keep from being stressed when your life is full of stressers? When you're worried about whether or not you're being a good mom, a good wife, a good daughter (in-law as well as natural), a good friend, a good Christian ... how do you cope?

This is not a hypothetical question. I'm really searching for answers here. Any advice would be more than welcome!

Four Years

Thank you everyone for your prayers and kind thoughts. Thankfully, it seemed to be only a one-day bug, as I feel fine today. Carl came home yesterday morning to take care of Dasha for me, which was my biggest concern. Thank goodness the sickness came yesterday instead of two days ago, when he was two hours away doing bridge inspection! I'm not sure what I would have done then.

On to more pleasant thoughts: Four years ago today, this was what was happening:


Gosh, we were young! Admittedly, twenty-two and twenty-one are not that young, but it seems it now, looking back. We weren't exactly the romantic, storybook bride and groom, either. Much later, we confessed to each other that both of us were on the verge of bolting from the church in a panic before the ceremony started. I still remember walking up the aisle on Dad's arm, thinking "Runaway Bride, Runaway Bride ... I am so not ready for this!"

Ah well. God is good. We've had our rough spots, sure, but he is molding us and shaping us his image through them. (Just how much moldier do you want us, Lord?)

And here we are now:
What will the next four years bring, God?